Opportunity

I hate the SAT.

I also hate its counterpart, the ACT, but the SAT has been my main focus for the last year and a half.

I hated the 5-hour SAT seminar that my mother paid for me to sit through one beautiful Sunday afternoon a year or so ago. My only comforts (as I received none from the chair in which my butt was parked) were the 4 short breaks we took and the two or three friends (who ALSO had mothers that cared far too much) that sat on either side of me.

I hated the SAT books that I bought/borrowed that I had to study the couple of weeks before each test, when I could be enjoying good times with my friends, times that are quickly slipping through my fingers as May approaches. The books were filled with tips, strategies, and practice tests. One of them was written by 6 college undergrads, mostly from Ivy league schools, that had all made a perfect score on their SAT's, a 2400. These writers tried to make the SAT "cool" by throwing little anecdotes and jokes in between things such as vocab words or geometry strategies. The SAT is not "cool," and their humor made me feel as though I was sitting in the middle of a robotics club meeting.

Of course, I hated the actual test as well. I've taken the thing 3 times now, and have lost roughly 150 bucks worth of good Saturday working hours because of it. I didn't enjoy sitting through 10 sections, not being able to eat much more than a small package of crackers, and not knowing what in God's name "circumlocution" meant.

However (yes, there is a "however")...

As I sit here and type all the negativity that swirls about my head at the first mention of the test's name, logic tells me that there must be a method to this madness. There must be SOMEthing good about this test, otherwise there would be no point.

I steer my attention to the system that the SAT represents, a system that strives to give kids that try and kids that work every opportunity to do well in life, regardless of their upbringing or financial situation. I look at the opportunities it has given me personally, such as the scholarships that my scores have qualified me for, which are not available to just anybody. I look at the fact that as my scores increase, so does the monetary value of said potential scholarships, which would increase the value of my education, which would lead to a better career, which would lead to a better quality of life down the road. It's given me new perspective as to why we put ourselves through things like this, why we have to work hard for success, and the sheer amount of windows that we open for ourselves if we do.

I have stopped to smell the Scantron. In retrospect (write that one down kids, its on the test, take my word for it), I'm glad that my mother was here to tell me to get off of Facebook and hit the REAL books, and I regret not a bit of time or energy that I've spent doing so.

I love the SAT.

Privilege

Let me introduce you to a man named Job.

Some of you may know him. He DOES have a self-titled book, after all.

Here's his story, in my own words:

Job is what you could call an all-around good guy. In fact, he's labeled as the "greatest man among all the people in the East." He was a good, blameless, upright man, and he had plenty to show for it. He had a nice big family, 7 sons and 3 daughters. He had a HUGE farm, and financially, he was bankin'. He had the best life anyone could really have in his time.

So one day, God and Satan are talking, and Satan tells God that if Job had everything taken away from him, he would not be near as "upright and blameless." Satan says that Job will crack like and egg when he doesn't have his nice little life to protect him, and that he will curse God's name.

God says, "Alright, Satan, I'll take your bet. Everything Job owns is in your hands, but you can't touch Job himself."

After this comes the single worst day in Job's life. One after another, his servants come to him to tell him that his livestock is getting butchered and stolen, his servants are getting massacred, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of his children were killed instantly when the house they were all in collapsed.

As I said, this is a rough day for Job. So what does he do? Who wins the bet, God or Satan?

"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.'" Job 1:20-21.

Absolutely amazing to me. This guy had it all, and immediately had it all stripped away, and yet he found a way to praise his God anyway.

How many of us can hold attitudes like that? How many of us decide to be fair weather fans of God, only thanking Him when things are grand, and completely placing blame on Him when everything sucks?

There is an argument by a couple of people I know that do not believe in God that "In the Old Testament, God has His people kill everything in some countries, even women, children, and infants! How can you possibly follow a religion like that?"

Yeah, he did. That is a true story. But the point that people miss is that God had a plan for his people. If you read on, you find that every nation that was taken over by the Israelites in the Old Testament was not one that followed God, and every time it happened, God had in mind the best interests of those who DID follow Him.

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away..."

The reason that Job could still find the strength and attitude to praise God in a time of great sorrow is that he had an inner peace that told him "God has a plan, and He hasn't left you alone."

By that logic, friends, we should complain a heckuva lot less. I'm not saying that you have to run down the halls shouting "GOD IS AWESOME" every time you end a relationship messily, or jump for joy when a close friend or relative passes away.

But if there is anything we can learn from Job, it's that we should feel peace in the fact that God can help us weather the storms, He is in control of this world, and He has great plans in store for each one of us.

The story of Job and the question raised in the previous paragraph have stirred some serious thoughts in my head, and I've come to this conclusion:

I am NOTHING without my God by my side.

The musical talent I hold, the good grades, the solid family, the great friends, the computer I write this on, the car that I'm going to school in tomorrow, the country in which I live, the oxygen that I breathe, and the very blood that flows through my veins have ALL been provided by God. I deserve not a single one of these privilege, and I am at the complete mercy of He who gave them to me. The good news, friends, is that He is full of mercy, and He delights in making me happy.

There was a comedian on Conan O'Brien's show (which I am going to miss, by the way) who was talking about how "everything is amazing right now, and nobody's happy." (type that phrase into YouTube)

He talks about how great technology is today, and how today's generation takes it completely for granted. In one particular instance, he talks about airplanes, and how he hears people complain about the delays that often come with most airliners. He's baffled by this, saying "You are taking a cross-country trip in 5 hours that used to take 30 YEARS." He goes on to say something to the effect of "You're participating in the miracle of human flight! Everyone on every plane should be constantly going 'WHOA! OH MY GOD! WOW!' You're sitting in a chair in the SKY!"

Thats how I think we should take God more often than we do. We so take for granted everything that He's done for us, what He's STILL doing for us, and we write off all of our blessings as if they're no big deal when we ought to be utterly amazed at the love He constantly pours out to us. We sometimes need to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, and see the beauty around us, and be glad in the fact that the one who provided all this cares about every smallest aspect of our lives.

Job's story along with some other things discussed in this post have given me great peace lately, in a time of scholarship applications, deadlines, due-dates, auditions, and other hectic things that come along with senior year. I leave you with a verse, which is a good one to memorize.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

--Jeremiah 29:11

Goodnight, friends.

Individual

Sorry for not posting more often. I've been a little busy, and inspiration has eluded me.

Until now, that is.

I lay here in the comfortable bed in the guest room of my grandparents house at approximately 1 o'clock in the morning and think to myself how thankful I am on this Holiday for the friends, family, and many material blessings that God has decided to give me. He is unfailing in His mercy, and I realize that I need to be more grateful towards Him daily.

However, thankfulness for God's mercy and blessing is not the key point of this entry, although you thought it was going to be.

For I also realize that this year will be the last year I travel with my family to wherever we decide to meet for Thanksgiving, and next year will be the first that I will drive myself home from whatever university God sends me to. I know that I'm going to miss being with my family all the time, and only seeing them in short spurts like weekends and holidays could prove to be quite difficult.

However, the importance of family and homesickness are not the key points of this entry either, although darn it if we're not getting warmer.

Because, through weird thought processes that can only occur at times like 1:20 a.m., I ALSO realize as I lay here that I'm LEAVING the town in which I now live to go to college in about 8-9 months.

LEAVING the town in which I've spent about 9 years living.

LEAVING the friends with which I have been building relationships for 9 years.

LEAVING my family which I've lived with for 18 years.

Just dropping everything I've known for years, off to discover a new world and start new relationships.

And these thought processes have brought me to these questions:

How are people going to remember me when I leave this place?

When all my friends see my face in the yearbook or old pictures, what will be the first thought that pops into their head?

Who am I going to BE when May rolls around the corner?

Who am I right NOW?

And these questions are all very pressing to me, because May IS just around the corner, the end of my time here is nearing (as depressing as it sounds to say it), and...

I just don't necessarily want to be remembered just as I am right now.

Not that I'm a BAD person by any means, but by taking a step back and looking at who I am now, I can see that there are things that I can improve on. I need to stop cursing, I need to get some things right with both God and some friends in my life, and I need to rediscover who I am and who I want to be.

It is always important (in my opinion) to do routine checks on yourself and ask questions similar to those that I have been asking myself, no matter what point in your life you may be at. If you don't, you start to lose your perception on who you are by letting yourself "go with the flow" a little too often, letting your values, beliefs, and individuality run together with those of the people around you.

Even if you don't care what other people think about you or what kind of person others perceive you as (which, to me, is kind of silly, because deep down, everyone does), ask these questions for the sake of yourSELF. Give yourself a sense of peace and pride by making absolute SURE you are every inch the person you want you to be.

This self-evaluation is especially imperative if you are at a serious turning point in your life, as I am. Like I said, I'm turning over an entire new leaf come May, and I want to #1) have the confidence that I lived my time in high school in a way that is both memorable and admirable, and #2) be sure that I'm solid and confident in who I am so I won't get swept away by the college tide.

Ours is a generation that professes to be full of "individuality" and "uniqueness," but this confuses me, because we don't do these self-checks near as often as we should be. After all, how can you be an "individual" if you completely lose sight of who that individual is?

until next time.

"What's wrong with the world, mama?"

When I get "blogger's block," I've found that a large bit of inspiration can come from watching all the things that go on in high school. High school offers a MILLION discussion topics, some of which really should be left to the professionals. But one observation has been sticking out like a sore thumb:

It seems that a lot of people are just getting SICK of each other.

These past few weeks have been full of a good number of people bickering, gossiping, shooting dirty looks, "he said that you said that she told her that blah blah blah..." and I'M getting about sick of it.

It's about ridiculous things, too. . .

"I don't know why she gave me that dirty look, and though there is a strong probability that she was only squinting in the sun when she happened to glance at me, I am going to assume that she hates me, and I'm going to Facebook about it and tell all my friends how ridiculous her wardrobe looks and how she probably sleeps with the whole football team."

"Man, this dude in my girlfriend's Biology class keeps talking to her, and even though he's probably just being friendly, I'm going to allow my insecurities about my relationship get the best of me, get ridiculously jealous, and tell HER to tell HIM to step off before I get in his face and act like I'm going to beat him to a bloody pulp."

(or, for you ladies...)

"I can't believe he decided to go to hang out with the guys instead of hanging out with me on our 3-month, 24th-day, 5-hour anniversary! I know deep down that my insecurities about my relationship could one day break it apart, but I'm still going to harass and nag him about my attention needs until he feels obliged to cancel his life for me."

ugh. BLECH. hack. As ridiculous as that stuff sounds, similar and no-less-exaggerated situations happen every day in our high school. Some of you are involved in it, however subconciously. Does it disgust you to see the pure nonsense of it all? It should. Do you grow uneasy as you realize that, to some degree, YOU might be one of the ones that get all worked up over nothing? You should.

We seem to revel in all this crud that can be summed up in one very overused word: drama.

It seems that one of our goals as seniors, or ANY high school grade really, would be to do everything in our power to stop this hormone-driven craziness that's been going on since about 7th grade. If we don't, harmless words will turn into knives and start tearing at bonds and friendships that have been around far too long to be destroyed by petty things.
And believe it or not, in the extreme cases, deep depression and even suicide can result.

So what can we do? We can think about the things that we do daily that fit in the "drama" category. We can think about the way we talk to people, the conversations we participate in, and how often we let your emotions take control of your actions. We can't let our minds get consumed in the hormones. While I realize that there are sometimes that you just absolutely can't avoid being sucked into some situations to a certain extent, there ARE mature ways that we can deal with it without spreading the fire. Once we all start to figure those things out, we might all start being friends again.

If I've offended anyone, I humbly apologize, its nothing personal, but I'm going to repectfully say that perhaps you needed to be offended.

Until next time, take it easy folks.

-jake

Day -1 of senior year: the beginning

Hello. My name is jake. I am a senior in high school, and this is my blog.

I was brushing my teeth one evening earlier this weekend and looking at myself in the mirror. I usually do some high-quality thinking when I brush my teeth in front of the mirror. Its a time where all the distractions of the day are drowned out by the sound of the bristles on my toothbrush scrubbing against my braced teeth, and all I can hear are my own thoughts, and all i can see is myself.

This particular day, two thoughts formed in my mind:

#1: I could stand to do more sit-ups (I had no shirt on).

#2: My senior year starts a couple of days from now, and I have no clue what the future holds.

The last thought hung in my mind all night, keeping me awake for longer than i cared for. It came with a million questions. What kind of changes are in store for me? What messes am I going to get myself into this year? What kind of a person am I going to be remembered as after I'm done with high school? What will happen to all the relationships I have now when I'm gone? What kind of crazy things and situations will be put before me this year? Yadda yadda yadda.

So I determined that night that getting a blog to document and reflect on the happenings that occur this year would be a good idea.

This is for me to have an outlet for my thoughts, and for past, present, and even future high school seniors that may have had or have some of the questions that I will undoubtedly have this year.

Always feel free to comment or e-mail me at jakehall2010@gmail.com. Especially for you 2010 folks that would like to see something addressed/discussed here :)

Housekeeping stuff aside, the first day of school is tomorrow, and its bound to be a doozie.
I will update as often as I can.

until then, keep it real.